I’m very lucky in that I get to learn so much from Caroline on our walks. Because Caroline has been on the road for the last week, however, we haven’t had our Beach Walk for a while. 🙁
Strangely, I had a dream while she was traveling that sort of gave me a Caroline-type-message anyway. Like the dream world looking out for me while she was gone. Anyway, in this dream, I was in a Miami Beach rec center (reminded me of Flamingo park around 40 years ago) and no one was playing. Everyone was sitting around doing nothing. So I asked this old woman with white hair if she wanted to play foosball. Somehow, I knew she was really good.
As soon as we go over to the table, I put the quarters in. It’s a big table and a crowd forms quickly. A teenager calls next and for some reason I am very wary of him. As we’re playing, I feel like I can’t move the rods that control the “players” freely. It feels like people – kids – are grabbing onto the other sides of the rods and hindering their movement.
I complain. The woman says nothing, keeps playing, but the crowd jeers at me. I’m looking under the table; it seems like the kids who were grabbing onto my rods were hiding. I’m having a horrible time – my feelings are hurt that everyone wants me to lose. I eventually do lose the game, and the crowd cheers.
The next game starts and everyone is having a great time except me. I have really hurt feelings. I go over to these couches with a book to try and calm down. This man with dark hair comes and sits next to me. He asked me if I knew why everyone was on the woman’s side; why they wanted her to win; why they were having fun playing with her? And why they wanted me to lose, and even tried to make me lose? He said: “you’re too serious. You wanted to win too much.”
I was defensive and fumed: “She’s good and wants to win too!” “She doesn’t even know if she can beat me without people trying to sabotage me!” Whine, moan.
He said “yes, she’s good, but she doesn’t really care if she wins. She just loves to play. You need to just enjoy the game.”
I woke up sad, but then I realized this dream was really a message to me. I need to stop caring so much about winning or losing, but enjoy the game. What a gift.